An occasion of such momentous proportion could only be started with The O.G. from LBC Mr. Snoop D-O-Double-G! With some early Blaxpoitation flick like The Guy From Harlem or Super Fly blaring on a theater-size screen and some Classic Soul Oldies coming through the studio speakers, Uncle Snoop greets us. His manicured fingernails reflecting light off his diamond rings precipitating a grand reveal, he opens a shiny wooden case filled with premium broadleaf cigars, for rolling purposes of course, and a freezer bag of California’s finest strain. As smoke fills the air and the melodies flow, we chop it up about everything from politics to beauty rituals. He even gave us the plug on silk scarves, remind us to share!
This one might be a long shot but we actually link up with Rih at a dispensary; it’s totally epic! We’re in there picking out different treats to get us through different phases of the day. You know, some candies for the park, flowers for the crib, and edibles for dessert. Anyway, as we’re deciding between gummy bears or sour worms, another clerk appears from a back room and who is following him out other than Bad Gal Riri and her bestie Mel! She sees all of our things on the counter and asks, “Where’s the party?” We totally fan out neglecting to tell her that there isn’t one, but we think she got the gist because she invited us to smoke with her. We get into her huge SUV and voila, she made the most beautifully pre-rolled joint appear from her clutch like magic. We rode around laughing and gossiping, it was truly surreal. She lets us out before getting on the freeway, blowing kisses while we screamed as she rode away.
Y’all know Pretty Girls Like Trap Music, right? Truuu! Backstage at his L.A. show, we’re spotted rolling up in the soft pink Pre-Show Lounge and get invited to take a tour of his bus, which was functioning as an art exhibit at the time. (Y’all know we don’t play that! LOL) When we got on, there were literally the prettiest pink flowers hanging throughout the entire space. Our escort instructs us to each pick one and taste it. They are sweet creme breath mints! As we walk through, the clouds of smoke getting thicker yet the aromas in the air remaining perfume-like, we finally meet 2 Chainz by a portrait he’s admiring. He tells us he painted it himself and what inspired it. Unfortunately, by this point in the day, everything is foggy so forgive us for not remembering, haha! We take pictures and get some souvenirs from the free gift shop on the way back into the show.
A girl has got to eat and that’s exactly what Sza must have been thinking when she pulled up to Roscoes right after us. She hears the hostess tell us that we just got the last booth and stops us to ask if we’d mind letting her sit in with us; she wants to blend in and we say “of course, girl.” We ordered so much food, not remembering that it was really the munchies causing the hunger, but actually we already ate! She is so sweet to pay for everything, and have the extra food boxed up and donated it to a shelter. Before she let us go, we spark up and sing “Broken Clocks” with her, belting into the park before some random man yells for us to “Shut the hell up already!”
Tyler the Creator
We meet The Flower Boy in the park. On a huge blanket under a couple trees, he lays alone staring up into the clouds and doesn’t see the unleashed dog casually walking up to him. In a cute and sorta curious way, the dog, who does not know Tyler in the slightest bit, lays next to him. We walk over and ask if we can join and he just shrugs; the dog never moves. We lay next to them and light up a joint we rolled in a rose pedal. We pass it around a few times before it’s done and as we walk off after the sun begins to set, we cannot recall if the dog took a puff or not.
Feeling rather crafty, we hit up one of our favorite art supply stores where we locate Solo, identifiable by her golden fro, looking for some beads. We show her where they keep them in the back of the store and inquire what she might use them for. She tells us it’s a secret but that we’ll know very soon. As an “extension of her gratitude (these are her words),” she invites us for tea back at her Valley Maisonette. The design comes straight out of one of those fancy art-deco magazines, only she designed it herself. We talk to her briefly about love and life, and she tells us not to spend too much time concerned with what we think isn’t going right; she tells us, “no looking back for temporary things.”
The day has been long so we stop to refuel. We pull up at a gas station and by chance, we see Donald Glover pumping gas into a mint condition Corvette, one of those old classic ones. He smiles and nods at us as he notices us notice him and subsequently freak out. Next thing we know, Lakeith Stanfield is walking out of the gas station and he hears us scream a little bit before we cover our mouths and try to collect ourselves. Donald says something to him and then they both approach our car. Donald asks us if we’ve ever been to “the top?” Unsure of what exactly he means but unwilling to question him, we simply shake our heads signaling that we had not, and were then directed to follow them. We got our gas and off we were to some destination up an endless, windy road and then through the gates of a huge estate. We park at a roundabout fountain and are led down a stone path to the edge of a cliff. Lakeith opens a pouch and pulls out a vape modeled after a tape recorder. While we smoke with Lakeith, Donald sings a melody for us that makes the stars seem to shine brighter. It’s as though with every breath he takes, they dim a little and then brighten as the octaves elevate. On the walk back to our car, he tells us to “be careful coming down.” Then, we’re awakened by the gas station attendant knocking on the window yelling to us, “You can’t sleep here.”
Disclaimer: These are fictional stories imagined by the author for entertainment.
The details in them are for creative expression only.